1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6.Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8.Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
10.In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
12.Chuck Norris ate the last piece of pizza. What are you gonna do about it?
13.Contrary to popular belief the continents did not drift apart over millions of years but in a single day when Chuck Norris was walking across Pangaea and mentioned that he wanted to swim, right here, and right now.
14.Chuck Norris doesn't wear pants or shoes. He was born with denim-coated legs and feet made of fine leather.
15.Chuck Norris has a Wrangler belt in karate.
16.Chuck Norris buys priceless artifacts and destroys them, because the two things Chuck Norris hates are beauty and history.
17.Global warming is not because of pollution, global warming occurred because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the polar ice caps. Chuck Norris hates the cold.
18.Chuck Norris once had to bend Vin Diesel over his knee and spank him after he "disrespected" the roundhouse kick.
19.Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
20.If you pay close attention, women's breasts quiver if you whisper, "Chuck Norris" anywhere in the country.
21.Chuck Norris was kicked out of the National Kickball League for roundhouse kicking the balls through people's torsos.
22.Chuck Norris always wins Connect Four in six turns or less.
23.When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
24.The way the wind blows depends on which direction Chuck Norris is kicking ass.
25.Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
26.Chuck Norris' smile can blind a full-grown adult at twenty paces and has been known to deflect all projectile weapons, including rocket launchers.
27.Chuck Norris knows his jeans are tight but does't give a flying ****.
28.It takes an Omish town one day to put up a barn. It takes one minute for Chuck Norris to have sex with all the Omish women in the barn then kick the barn down.
29.Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
30Who are Chuck Norris' parents? Might, Justice, and cunning; yes, all three.
31.Chuck Norris breifly played two seasons of minor league baseball for the Austin Ranchers in 1972. He wore a uniform made of denim.
32.Chuck Norris was the 1987 USWF Weight Lifting Champion. This is considered very impressive considering Norris didn't even enter the tournament, but won anyway because he's ******* awesome.
33.Chuck Norris can kick your ass without even moving his feet.
34.Chuck Norris' laugh sounds like that of a small child. You wouldn't know this because he never laughs.
35.Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
36.Chuck Norris was raised to respect the views and opinions of others, with a swift kick to the face.
37.There is a 100% chance that Chuck Norris is your father.
38.Chuck Norris always knows where and in what time period Carmen Sandiego is.
39.Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping.
40.An entire episode of Walker, Texas Ranger was shot with the lens cap on. This made no difference, however, because the light emanating from Chuck Norris' beard permeated the plastic cap and allowed the camera to see Chuck in all his glory.
***If you know more facts about Chuck Norris it is your duty to add them or Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you to the face***
--SHAN3-O
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6.Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8.Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
10.In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
12.Chuck Norris ate the last piece of pizza. What are you gonna do about it?
13.Contrary to popular belief the continents did not drift apart over millions of years but in a single day when Chuck Norris was walking across Pangaea and mentioned that he wanted to swim, right here, and right now.
14.Chuck Norris doesn't wear pants or shoes. He was born with denim-coated legs and feet made of fine leather.
15.Chuck Norris has a Wrangler belt in karate.
16.Chuck Norris buys priceless artifacts and destroys them, because the two things Chuck Norris hates are beauty and history.
17.Global warming is not because of pollution, global warming occurred because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the polar ice caps. Chuck Norris hates the cold.
18.Chuck Norris once had to bend Vin Diesel over his knee and spank him after he "disrespected" the roundhouse kick.
19.Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
20.If you pay close attention, women's breasts quiver if you whisper, "Chuck Norris" anywhere in the country.
21.Chuck Norris was kicked out of the National Kickball League for roundhouse kicking the balls through people's torsos.
22.Chuck Norris always wins Connect Four in six turns or less.
23.When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
24.The way the wind blows depends on which direction Chuck Norris is kicking ass.
25.Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
26.Chuck Norris' smile can blind a full-grown adult at twenty paces and has been known to deflect all projectile weapons, including rocket launchers.
27.Chuck Norris knows his jeans are tight but does't give a flying ****.
28.It takes an Omish town one day to put up a barn. It takes one minute for Chuck Norris to have sex with all the Omish women in the barn then kick the barn down.
29.Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
30Who are Chuck Norris' parents? Might, Justice, and cunning; yes, all three.
31.Chuck Norris breifly played two seasons of minor league baseball for the Austin Ranchers in 1972. He wore a uniform made of denim.
32.Chuck Norris was the 1987 USWF Weight Lifting Champion. This is considered very impressive considering Norris didn't even enter the tournament, but won anyway because he's ******* awesome.
33.Chuck Norris can kick your ass without even moving his feet.
34.Chuck Norris' laugh sounds like that of a small child. You wouldn't know this because he never laughs.
35.Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
36.Chuck Norris was raised to respect the views and opinions of others, with a swift kick to the face.
37.There is a 100% chance that Chuck Norris is your father.
38.Chuck Norris always knows where and in what time period Carmen Sandiego is.
39.Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping.
40.An entire episode of Walker, Texas Ranger was shot with the lens cap on. This made no difference, however, because the light emanating from Chuck Norris' beard permeated the plastic cap and allowed the camera to see Chuck in all his glory.
***If you know more facts about Chuck Norris it is your duty to add them or Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you to the face***
--SHAN3-O
