the kid that did the alignment managed to stall my car 2 times getting it on the ramps
That was your first clue to run like hell.
You've got negative camber on one side, positive on the other, toe in on 1 side, toe out on the other, and almost .2* thrust angle... and that's just the rear.
Easy button? Get as much camber out front as you can (if it's stock height, it won't be much more than -1*), and even the one with more up to the one with less. Get as much caster as you can out of that setup, then 0 or a smidge of toe OUT (but EVEN) on the fronts.
Same for the rear. You don't need a lot of camber back there the way the camber curves work on these. -.5 to -1* is plenty. You are complaining about it being tail happy: get a hair of toe-in. Not much, or you'll chew through tires, but a little just to help keep it settled. And again, EVEN. Thrust angle should be 0. If you have thrust angle, it means the rear tires are pushing the back end to an angle 1 way or another compared to the rest of the car (ie: pushing you sideways a bit). That also chews through tires.
And go back to the shop that did that with the alignment sheet rolled up, smack the guy in the head and say "NO!" a few times until he learns... maybe keep a spray bottle handy and spray him in the face any time he goes near the alignment rack...