Relationship Advice

[Replica]

Dont call her. That crap about making herself happy first just means she wants to be with someone else. Just dissapear. Nothing hurts more than never knowing why.

 

[Cellerator]

send a quick email with this thread link and nothing else. She will learn. If you have any type of 35-50mph gocart places, get a couple of friends and go. It costs like $20 a race but you will feel better and you will have something to talk about afterwards that doesn't include her. That's what I did when my friend's girlfriend broke up with him. They were together for 2 yrs. Took him go-carting and he felt a hell of a lot better. I know it will help since you're about the same age as me and my friends(if that's the correct bday on your pro). BTW, don't let her use you. My friend's ex tried and turned out to be a real b****.

 

[Puckpimp71]

Don't call her.... at least not yet. She's on the ropes. Get her down for the count... If you really care to remain friends down the line it'd be best to just cut her out of the picture for a while. It seems she wants to keep you as a back-up b/f with all the phone calls, e-mails, etc... especially the line about treating you to lunch as pay back for money lent. Don't fall victim to that non-sense. Since you're not returning the calls, you've just about put her in the same position she had you in and that's a good thing, from your vantage point.

 

[SCRewDriveR]

When you are done with a girl, just be done with her. There is no such thing
as letting her down easy or "it's not you, it's me" BS. Girls are like parking spaces. As soon as you pull out, someone else is trying to pull in. Whether
you want to think it or not, you are not the last dick on earth. Stringing girls
along only causes them to go psycho (freak)

 

[AZDriftR]

man she called from a private number and i picked up and answered and she was like "WTF why havent u answered me in a week" and i was like oh s***! and i tld her that if i was to ever be her friend that i would need time and that i didnt want to talk or see her for awhile, and she pulls this "this doesnt mean we will be only friends forever" bulls*** and says that she just want to be single and have some freedom to do what she pleases for awhile. then she gave me the 20 questions like how are u doing and such and i just went along with it and kept trying to get off and even thought about hanging up but didnt for some reason. the she told me what she had been doing "oh hanging out with adam, chris, zach... and some others i didnt know. and i was like OK WTF do i care ( said that) and she was like "you dont have to be all jealous im not dating anyone nor am i interested i told u that" and then procedeed to tell me about all the partyingthat she had been doing lately. and all this hurt and s*** that i was just begining to beable to handle all came back. then she said she had to get soem work done and that she would call me back when she was done, but never did! I dont know why it is that my heart cant see what my brain so easily recognizes, that she is and never will be good for me. its like even though she walks all overme and treats me like garbage i still somehow love her.

 

[reemer99]

man she called from a private number and i picked up and answered and she was like "WTF why havent u answered me in a week" and i was like oh s***! and i tld her that if i was to ever be her friend that i would need time and that i didnt want to talk or see her for awhile, and she pulls this "this doesnt mean we will be only friends forever" bulls*** and says that she just want to be single and have some freedom to do what she pleases for awhile. then she gave me the 20 questions like how are u doing and such and i just went along with it and kept trying to get off and even thought about hanging up but didnt for some reason. the she told me what she had been doing "oh hanging out with adam, chris, zach... and some others i didnt know. and i was like OK WTF do i care ( said that) and she was like "you dont have to be all jealous im not dating anyone nor am i interested i told u that" and then procedeed to tell me about all the partyingthat she had been doing lately. and all this hurt and s*** that i was just begining to beable to handle all came back. then she said she had to get soem work done and that she would call me back when she was done, but never did! I dont know why it is that my heart cant see what my brain so easily recognizes, that she is and never will be good for me. its like even though she walks all overme and treats me like garbage i still somehow love her.

I am definatly not a female expert( is anybody?) but this is strangly familiar to one of my ex's. It seems as though she just wants the last say and to string you along. The best thing for you to do, like I did and many people have mentioned, is get a hobby. I joined a gym and started mountain biking a lot. Find things can do on my own. Break off ALL contact and go into your own world. Meditation also helps too. Stay away from anything that will make you think about this girl. Women are crazy, the sooner you learn that, the sooner you won't need one.

 

[Replica]

I hate when women try to keep us around as a "backup." thats what this hoe is doing...

 

[AZDriftR]

i am staying busy in fact i have almost no time to myself to even think. i think i joined like every clubat this school and then some. But its hard not to think about her, everything reminds me of her, and i MEAN EVERYTHING! hopefully she just wont call me back in some ploy to end it on her terms or something like u said, and this will be the end of it. ive tryed so hard for this past 2 weeks and after one phone call im back to the square one. this ****** frustrates me!

 

[Replica]

Same thing happened to me, everything was about my first gf. A certain scent of perfume, or a song will literally make my heart stop.

Welcome to the human race.

 

[cbcbd]

WTF? She so used that and wants to use everything to end it on her terms. She wants the upper hand, she wants the control and now she got it and she feels good - the whole saying "I'll call you back after I'm done" and not calling. That's a ******* game to just put herself in the position of power and you're feeling that now. You were regaining some control and this b**** reaches you and takes that control away.

She doesn't own you and yeah it's going to kill her when you turn the tables and decide to move on, but you deserve much better and she will only hurt you. She's never going to stop playing these power games. Games suck, tell her to stop calling you, you don't/can't be friends with her. You're not going to wait around for her to be ready, you deserve better than this s***.

Sorry it's back to square one, man, but just go back to doing what you were doing and just really try to not talk to her. I know it's hard, but she's just hurting you and you don't deserve to be hurt anymore by her at this point. Her games are hurting you, that ain't cool.

Doug

 

[Replica]

werd. Can't really add s*** to that!

 

[dosle]

i was in a similar situation. what i did was avoid talking to her as much as possible other than 'can i have x property back' and stuff. then i went out with my friends as much as possible and they introduced me to new people, now i am having more fun in the last 2 months than i've had in the last year with my x. you jsut got to keep moving forward otherwise your going to fall back. good luck.

 

[SaaBaaDoo]

life has got it's ways of working stuff out man. I was in the complete opposite position, I broke it off with my x-fiance (sp) after 3 years of being engaged. After about a month, all I wanted was her back, tried my ass off to get her back, but it never happened. In fact, she started dating a new guy around the time that I was trying to get her back and that just made it worse. Well, we ended up living a block away from each other in college, if I was trashed, I'd stop by and she'd have a drink with me and just hang out for an hour. I continued college for a year, moved away to VA the next year, then moved back home and worked for a year before going BACK to college to finish up my degree.

This was 3 years after we had broken up and I got a call from her out of the blue that she was going to be in town visiting some friends and wanted to know if I wanted to come hang out with them. I did, nothing happened, we were friends. Next time she came down she asked it I minded if she crashed on my couch, I told her sure, whatever, it's cool. I went to school for art and she really liked this drawing that I had done for one of my classes and was asking what I would sell it for. Turns out about 3 weeks later I decided to drive my car through a flooded street and blew a big ass hole in the back of the engine block...so I called her up about the drawing.

I didn't hear anything from her and had just found out my Mom was going in for some heart treatment to clear out some blockage. I drove back home and my Dad and I went out to dinner and my ex was a waitress there. So, I asked her about the drawing because I was really hard up for money and she said, "haven't you checked your email???"

Well, got back home, in my email was this basically this whole thing about how she still loves me, etc... She bought the drawing which fixed my engine, we got back together, going on 4 years married now...

Sorry for such a long ass post, but just goes to show that even in a completely reversed situation as yours, life had it's way of dealing me a good hand! Keep your chin up man

EDIT: My drawing that she bought from me is mounted in my dining room now...LOL

 

[AZDriftR]

well my buddy is trying to set me up with this girl (kristi) this weekend on a double date. so i guess i might as well do it, i mean wouldthis kinda thing help. cuz at this point i dont know what i need.

 

[AZDriftR]

well she never did call me back... i guess she really was ending it on her terms.. what a b****y thing to do to a guy that three weeks earlier she was SO in love with and claims to still be. Im taking a friend (kristi) to NOPI this weekend so maybe that will cheer me up alil, but other than that i feel like such a ******* looser for letting her do this to me and letting it effect me the way it is...

 

[cbcbd]

Don't worry, man. Even though she got her little power fix, it won't last her long. She'll soon be thinking "well, I didn't call him, why hasn't he even bothered to call me and ask why I didn't call him back". For her it's just going to be an endless quest to keep you in the sidelines just in case.
Just move on, she'll soon think it's weird that you hadn't called her, and if she does call for some wack reason now you know what to do.

I'm glad you have a female friend to hang out with, they're the best distractors - a female in a no-pressure situation. Good times, man. (thumb)

Doug

 

[AZDriftR]

im trying not to worry, but its hard ya know. i just get to thinking " what is she doing right now" and why did she have to break up with me to be able to do it.. ugh this sucks!

 

[Puckpimp71]

You just gotta let it go... Whatever you do, don't talk about her to Kristi.... Have fun with this new girl. There's a million things out there that remind me of my ex's and I still keep in contact with each of them. Given time, thing's work out. When you're hanging out with Kristi ask her lots of questions (what's her favorite flavor ice cream? 3 things she'd take to a deserted island?) stupid questions that can spark a conversation and let things progress. Just forget about this other chica.... she's a waste of time and if she calls you down the road, maybe you'll be unattached enough to string her along for s**** and giggles (been there done that good clean fun).

 

[Chiguy_2002]

I would have to agree with a lot of what has been said. It does seem like women (girls) who are younger, say under 25 don't know what the hell they want. Sometimes when they get older they will settle down with a "nice guy", maybe, but that is not what they want when they are younger. Female friends are great distractions, you can talk about other females all you want with them. I have had many female friends before that say "let's just be friends" and I hated it all. Well, just so happens that they are not the right one, and try not to worry about it. Call me weird, but when she was calling you and writing you, I wouldn't have been answering her calls, but maybe I would have sent a short E-Mail back to her saying that you are fine, but just busy, talk to you later. If you keep the message short, she would probably know what was up...but then again, she may string you along. Well, maybe too late for that now, just move on and try to get over it. Hope things work out.

 

[AZDriftR]

thank you all, you all are helping tremendously! im not goign to be a part of her games anymore, i blocked her number as well as her email address, so i dont have to worry about her calling anymore. Im not going to let this get the best of me....