Funniest Thing you ever told a cop
- Thread starter bgibb68
- Start date
Protege_MP3_506
Member
- :
- 2001 Mazda Protege MP3
Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over??"
Me: "Did you hear about the 10 pounds of weed in the trunk?"
Different time
(I was arrested in the back seat)
Me: "You didnt use your blinker, thats and $82 ticket"
Cop: "Well i wouldnt have had to use my f&^$%& blinker if I didnt have to come down here and get your ass"
Me: "oh, sorry"
Me: "Did you hear about the 10 pounds of weed in the trunk?"
Different time
(I was arrested in the back seat)
Me: "You didnt use your blinker, thats and $82 ticket"
Cop: "Well i wouldnt have had to use my f&^$%& blinker if I didnt have to come down here and get your ass"
Me: "oh, sorry"
Protege_MP3_506
Member
- :
- 2001 Mazda Protege MP3
Yeah ha ha. I'm curious what other people have said. I hope this one blows up too. I've asked a cop if he wanted to race once too lol. He said if I started winning he would just PIT maneuver my ass ha ha.
6
60181
I was 17, driving home from work and pulled over for rolling the stop sign at the end of our street....cop followed me down the street and pulled up behind me in my parents driveway.
I didn't even notice him as I pulled in the garage and ran in the house. He proceeded to knock on the door....my father answered....he called for me and when I arrived in the front room I was in shock.
The cop asked me why I took off into the house...I told him I had to go to the bathroom....he then proceeded to scold me for not taking a moment to notice his flashing lights and to address him.....I then explained that "it was a HUGE brown dog barking at the back door" and I was on a mission.
BTW.....dad got me out of the ticket by talking with the cop. (yes)
True story.
I didn't even notice him as I pulled in the garage and ran in the house. He proceeded to knock on the door....my father answered....he called for me and when I arrived in the front room I was in shock.
The cop asked me why I took off into the house...I told him I had to go to the bathroom....he then proceeded to scold me for not taking a moment to notice his flashing lights and to address him.....I then explained that "it was a HUGE brown dog barking at the back door" and I was on a mission.
BTW.....dad got me out of the ticket by talking with the cop. (yes)
True story.
blkspdfreak
Member
- :
- 03 black msp and silver p5
very good thread idea. ill chime in later......
- :
- 2007 MS3
I didn't do this, but I know the guy who did.
My friend was the passenger. Both hammered. Minor fender bender on a bridge and the driver of the other car is a major ass about the whole thing. (Can understand why, but not smart when dealing with two large drunks). One cop is loading the driver in the back of a squad car and the other asks my friend the passenger, pointing at the driver of the other car, "did you really threaten to throw him off the overpass?"
The response was perfect. "Not me officer, I'm a happy drunk!"
My friend was the passenger. Both hammered. Minor fender bender on a bridge and the driver of the other car is a major ass about the whole thing. (Can understand why, but not smart when dealing with two large drunks). One cop is loading the driver in the back of a squad car and the other asks my friend the passenger, pointing at the driver of the other car, "did you really threaten to throw him off the overpass?"
The response was perfect. "Not me officer, I'm a happy drunk!"
haha i kinda have one like that, me and some friends got pulled over and i was passanger, i always wanted to **** with one so when he got to the drivers window i opend up the door and took off runnin they caught up to me and asked why i was running and i said i had to take a s*** and didnt want to s*** myself so i ran to the gas station haha they didnt think it was funny i spent the night in jail haha
Protege_MP3_506
Member
- :
- 2001 Mazda Protege MP3
gato9lives
Member
- :
- mzda prtge msp
my friend got pulled over for a dui. So he asks us in the car if anybody can drive? (drunk) I was buzzed but still I said i could. He asks me to get out and somehow a Modelo twelve pack box ended up on my foot like a boot so when i got out(hand)BAM he looked down and was like uhh....no......you cant.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Probably the big illegal U-turn I pulled right there.
Officer: If you knew it was illegal, why did you do it?
Me: I needed to be going this way, and I didn't see you there.
...as he headed back to his car with my paperwork:
Me: Officer... If it makes any difference, could you please not give me the ticket?
Officer: ..and why do you think you don't deserve a ticket?
Me: Oh, I do deserve it, but I'm only doing this (delivering pizza) to help pay my way through school, and if I have to pay this ticket, it will wipe out everything I'm making.
...I didn't get a ticket!
Me: Probably the big illegal U-turn I pulled right there.
Officer: If you knew it was illegal, why did you do it?
Me: I needed to be going this way, and I didn't see you there.
...as he headed back to his car with my paperwork:
Me: Officer... If it makes any difference, could you please not give me the ticket?
Officer: ..and why do you think you don't deserve a ticket?
Me: Oh, I do deserve it, but I'm only doing this (delivering pizza) to help pay my way through school, and if I have to pay this ticket, it will wipe out everything I'm making.
...I didn't get a ticket!
wheresthericego
Member
- :
- BG 323 boosted, NA8 miata
officer: Do you mind if I search your car?
me: yes actually I do
Officer: do you have anything to hide?
Me: No
Officer: Then why dont you want me to search your car
Me: Because its my car and I don't want your greasy hoofs on my s*** and throwing everything on the floorboard.
This is after I had already gotten a BS seatbelt ticket (I always wear it and forgot one time) so I was pissed.
me: yes actually I do
Officer: do you have anything to hide?
Me: No
Officer: Then why dont you want me to search your car
Me: Because its my car and I don't want your greasy hoofs on my s*** and throwing everything on the floorboard.
This is after I had already gotten a BS seatbelt ticket (I always wear it and forgot one time) so I was pissed.
Everytime I get stopped in a RIDE program stop I call the cop "officer Sparky", it is funny to see how much it throws them off their guard.
A few years ago my cousin and I were driving back from her cottage in Quebec to her house in Ottawa. Quebec cop, seeing the chance to nail someone with ontario plates, pulls her over.
Officer (in french): Do you know how fast you were going?
My cousin, also in french: Same speed as everyone else.
Sparky wasn't impressed, still gave her a ticket, but at least we laughed at him for a few hours.
A few years ago my cousin and I were driving back from her cottage in Quebec to her house in Ottawa. Quebec cop, seeing the chance to nail someone with ontario plates, pulls her over.
Officer (in french): Do you know how fast you were going?
My cousin, also in french: Same speed as everyone else.
Sparky wasn't impressed, still gave her a ticket, but at least we laughed at him for a few hours.
SpooledupRacing
Banned
- :
- 86' RX-7 modded
Officer: You know how fast you were going?
ME: Isn't that your job?
needless to say he gave me no ticket
IN THE SNOW
Officer: Looked to me like you are having a hard time controlling this car tonight?
My buddy in pass seat: You gotta be kidding me that was a PERFECT drift through that corner!
Officer: Excuse me?
Buddy: You think you can do better?
NO ticket
Officer: Have you been drinking or doing drugs?
Me: No, I dont do drugs
Officer: With all that s*** in your face (my piercings) you look like a druggie to me
Me: Thats discrimination, whats your badge number
AT that time he walks away and drives off.
more to come
ME: Isn't that your job?
needless to say he gave me no ticket
IN THE SNOW
Officer: Looked to me like you are having a hard time controlling this car tonight?
My buddy in pass seat: You gotta be kidding me that was a PERFECT drift through that corner!
Officer: Excuse me?
Buddy: You think you can do better?
NO ticket
Officer: Have you been drinking or doing drugs?
Me: No, I dont do drugs
Officer: With all that s*** in your face (my piercings) you look like a druggie to me
Me: Thats discrimination, whats your badge number
AT that time he walks away and drives off.
more to come
