Hey Poppy-
For what it's worth, I'm down in Central New Jersey and just bought my new-to-me 2019 Signature (CPO) back in October. I've been researching a replacement car for close to 3 years, and the reason I bought a CX-9 was mostly because I wasn't able to find anything that met my specific needs better, and I wasn't able to find any significant faults with it after 3 years of scouring the internet, including enthusiast-owner groups. It definitely helps that this basic platform (minus a few of the newer bells 'n whistles) has been around since MY2016 and has proven to be pretty solid. I tend to keep my cars for at least 10+ years, so I need something reliable.
Also for what it's worth, I really like the members in this group, too, and really haven't run across any information in this thread with which I would disagree, and would add the following commentary from my owner's experience to date:
Points 4 & 5. My recent experience testing the AWD system was earlier this week where we **finally** got some white stuff...about 6". As mentioned before, **tires make all the difference**. The dealer I bought my CX-9 from had just shod it with a brand new set of Nankang All-Seasons (and if you haven't heard of this brand, there's a reason for that....they're low-budget, crap tires) which I insisted be replaced. I wanted to try something different than the Nitto's I've been buying the last 10+ years and went with the new Vredestein Quatrac Pro (*Note: These also one of the few tires that have the true "M+S" rating for winter use). At the time, they were Tirerack.com's #1 rated Grand Touring tire. I'm very "into" tires and cannot say enough good things about the Vredesteins...including their acceleration, cornering, stopping in the snow, but I love them in dry/wet conditions, too. I won't belabor all the details, but would be happy to share more info if you'd like.
As for the AWD system itself, my sense is it's a little more advanced than some have described it here...especially starting with MY2019 and up where they did introduce Mazda's version of torque-vectoring which is predominately used to improve handling and reduce understeer, as I understand it. I cannot imagine this system not being more than adequate...even in your neck of the woods. Yes, the latest AWD system found in the Pilot is a little more robust--and with driver-selectable modes, but truth be told...the damn vehicle handles like a truck. Same with the current-gen Highlander, from my research anyway.
Point 6: Funny thing, I never knew mine even had factory remote start until I was carrying in a load of firewood last week, and must've inadvertently pushed on the "lock" button a few times (the key was in my pocket)...only to go back outside for another load, and find my CX-9 idling away. Who knew? Anyway, I'm personally not a huge fan of using remote start because every auto manufacturer I've run across recommends not letting your car idle at startup for a long time because the excess fuel tends to damage the catalytic converter, among other things (however, I do recognize others live in significantly colder conditions than NJ is these days, where using this feature might be worthwhile)
Point 7: It took me a little while to get used to tech for the audio/navigation (everything else couldn't be easier) but I attributed that mostly because I'm new to Android Auto. Once you've got that figured out, it's a pretty slick system, IMO.
Point 8: I've been driving an old Infiniti with a RWD-biased AWD system for the last decade, so I'm extra-sensitive to torque steer from FWD. In my experience, unless you're standing on the gas from a dead stop, the torque steer in these cars is pretty minimal (and even if you do, it's not like the wheel will be torn from of your hands). In 95% of FWD vehicles, it's just the nature of the beast and if you're alright with all the other handling "attributes" of FWD, I think Mazda does a pretty good job of keeping it well-controlled.
Point 13: I wonder if the "Zoom-zoom" factor wasn't mentioned because--among Mazda owners anyway--its just something that's implied - lol. This is my first Mazda, and I can tell you these cars are great fun to drive, and very engaging...not unlike how BMW used to be back in the ol' days. Mazda does a great job of not insulating you from the driving experience, but making you part of it. The acceleration is great...especially for a 4-banger, the steering makes the CX-9 feel/handle like a much smaller, lighter car and the brakes do a great job of adding to that sporty feel. Although I don't think this wasn't mentioned, I will say the gas mileage figures are also pretty close to their ratings in my experience. Use a steady foot and and keep it below 80 on the highway, you'll see 25-26 MPG. Around town with some highway (and with the damn "winter" aka oxygenated fuel), I'm getting 22'ish.
Anyway, sorry for the long reply...but as someone who was literally just in your shoes a few months ago (and after agonizing over the decision for a long time), I'm hoping some of my nonsensical ramblings might be of some help to you.
Best luck in your decision, Poppy D......!
Best,
Tim G. in Central NJ
'19 CX-9 Sig