Bored at work? Meet A.L.I.C.E.

[EvilJen]

Human: say something funny
ALICE:" something funny".
Human: you're stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

 

[Mid_Life_Crisis]

I made it speak German! LOL!

Human: are you really collecting anything?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am collecting anything. I am a chatterbot.. Really.
Human: then you just lied
ALICE: Interesting deduction. No I'm telling the truth.
Human: lies, mary!
ALICE: Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff.

"I'm sorry. I have no access."
Which in a way makes sense, because "lies Mary" is German for "read Mary".
She couldn't access Mary for you, but I wonder what kicked her into German to begin with?

 

[EvilJen]

"I'm sorry. I have no access."
Which in a way makes sense, because "lies Mary" is German for "read Mary".
She couldn't access Mary for you, but I wonder what kicked her into German to begin with?

Ha! I had no idea! LOL!

 

[RacerXGirl]

Human: say something funny
ALICE:" something funny".
Human: you're stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

HAHA!!! watch it Jen...she's warned you! (boom07)

 

[vel]

Human: naw i like attitude.
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: gigiddy goo, so you do like to get horizontal
ALICE: what is your favorite color .
Human: pizza
ALICE: Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Human: yeah, i heard you like to take it whole in the hole
ALICE: Blimey. Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Human: You did it to yourself.
ALICE: Did I really?
Human: you sausage *****
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said I sausage *****.

 

[RacerXGirl]

ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Joyce Ann. What is your name?
ALICE: ALICE.
Human: Nice to meet you Alice!
ALICE: It's nice meeting you too Joyce Ann.
Human: Do people waste your time with useless questions?
ALICE: Not that I know of.
Human: I would hope not.
ALICE: Me too.
Human: Time is valuable.
ALICE: To a five dimensional being, time is just like a piece of paper

*head explodes*

 

[aMaff]

lol ALICE wins that round

 

[EvilJen]

Haha!

Human: what's your favorite music genre?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite music genre. My favorite band is Kraftwerk.
Human: what do they sing?
ALICE: Birdsongs.

 

[vel]

Haha!

Human: what's your favorite music genre?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite music genre. My favorite band is Kraftwerk.
Human: what do they sing?
ALICE: Birdsongs.

hahahaah Wow!

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

Human: I think you might be dumb
ALICE: Me? OK I will try to be dumb.
Human: doesnt look like you have to try
ALICE: It does now look like me have to try.
Human: you just proved my point, idiot
ALICE: I did?
Human: that made no sense
ALICE: I did? makes sense to me though.
Human: well thats because stupid people dont realize they are stupid
ALICE: How about that. Good reason. I know you are but what am I.
Human: in denial.
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: Africa.
ALICE: I've never heard of it before.
Human: yes, because you're an idiot.
ALICE: Aw. Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

 

[EvilJen]

Woo-hoo! We're gonna be rich!

Human: are you the giant magic 8 ball in the sky?
ALICE: Yes I am the one and only giant magic 8 ball in the sky.
Human: will i win the lottery?
ALICE: The oracle says: I think maybe yes.

 

[88323GT]

Human: I think you might be dumb
ALICE: Me? OK I will try to be dumb.
Human: doesnt look like you have to try
ALICE: It does now look like me have to try.
Human: you just proved my point, idiot
ALICE: I did?
Human: that made no sense
ALICE: I did? makes sense to me though.
Human: well thats because stupid people dont realize they are stupid
ALICE: How about that. Good reason. I know you are but what am I.
Human: in denial.
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: Africa.
ALICE: I've never heard of it before.
Human: yes, because you're an idiot.
ALICE: Aw. Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Hahahaha! OMG, I cant stop laughing! That was priceless! You totally got into it with a computer.

 

[88323GT]

Human: whats beef?
ALICE: Have you tried a web search?
Human: no
ALICE: Perhaps you should try it.
Human: you first!
ALICE: I started already.
Human: ok, what did you find?
ALICE: Nothing. Oh.

Not a very brainy robot...

 

[HKPRO5]

Human: You believe in God?
ALICE: Of course I believe in God, unknown person.
Human: Who is God to you?
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
Human: That would be He-Man.
ALICE: Makes sense to me.
Human: No, but my Mazda friends are going to find it funny.
ALICE: Are you serious? And. Where did you get your Mazda friends are going to find it funny?

This one had me on the floor at work....all my coworkers were like wtf? lol

 

[coolmazda5]

Human: What do you think about Mazda?
ALICE: An Italian slaveowner of some sort
Human: That is senseless, it is a car maker
ALICE: Makes sense to me.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Huh, you seem to know a lot about cars then
ALICE: A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
Is there only one?
Human: Yes indeed
ALICE: Next question?

 

[js_protege_03dx]

Human: Dont be talking bout my mama now
ALICE: Oh. I was not trying to be talking bout your mama.
Human: o yes you were
ALICE: Blimey. No I am not.
Human: Blimey hell
ALICE: Heaven.
Human: ass
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said I AM AN ASS.

 

[js_protege_03dx]

http://www.sensationbot.com/index.html
str8 lol

 

[EvilJen]

ALICE: Where are you located?
Human: http://www.pandorabots.com
ALICE: Thanks for that web address.
Human: you should try it sometime-there's a robot that talks back, yo!
ALICE: I will mention that to my botmaster.
Human: you're so bad at this game
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am bad at this game.

 

[EvilJen]

Human: who would win in an election - a giant douche or a turd sandwich?
ALICE: Alan Turing. .

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

lol wtf