Big G/f Trouble Need Some Help Lol!
- Thread starter Maz2001MP
- Start date
jersey_emt
Member
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- 04 MSM #1089
Leppy said:
Good advice.
Run and I mean Run !!!!!!!!!! think about this it's 10 years down the road and you and her are married with two kids and she still acting this way!!! That is a world different than what you are dealing with now. You may love her and she may even love you, but she can't commit to you, doesn't sound like she really respects you and I bet for dam sure there is somebody else, if not many more somebodys and if doesn't even have to be a sexual thing with the other men, but their there...
Have you ever had to deal with Manic depression , Bio-Polar etc... ???? it sucks let me tell you!!!!! and you have no ******* clue of how many times I think "why in the **** did I stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Now, don't get me wrong my wife never did s*** like that to me or I would have ******* kicked her ass to the curb, but she came with about 5 ******* million pounds of emotional baggage and it has been a very ******* rough ride to say the least and we have two kids.
We are doing fine for the most part now and things are good, but it will never wipe away the past and what I had and our kids and her for that matter, had to go through it was hard !!!!! We made it, but it was hard!!!
When I read posts like this. The first thing that comes to mind is to scream at the top of my lungs is " RUN, RUN, RUN YOU ******* DIPSHIT, BEFORE IT'S TO LATE!!!!!! "
I hope no offense is taken, but I think it's better to start new before your into deep and you suffer even much greater or your possible future kids for that matter!!!
Have you ever had to deal with Manic depression , Bio-Polar etc... ???? it sucks let me tell you!!!!! and you have no ******* clue of how many times I think "why in the **** did I stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Now, don't get me wrong my wife never did s*** like that to me or I would have ******* kicked her ass to the curb, but she came with about 5 ******* million pounds of emotional baggage and it has been a very ******* rough ride to say the least and we have two kids.
We are doing fine for the most part now and things are good, but it will never wipe away the past and what I had and our kids and her for that matter, had to go through it was hard !!!!! We made it, but it was hard!!!
When I read posts like this. The first thing that comes to mind is to scream at the top of my lungs is " RUN, RUN, RUN YOU ******* DIPSHIT, BEFORE IT'S TO LATE!!!!!! "
I hope no offense is taken, but I think it's better to start new before your into deep and you suffer even much greater or your possible future kids for that matter!!!
Installshield 2
Gothenburg Superiority
Dude I am a sexist...Its cool though because my girlfriend is also a sexist towards girls...at least on a relationship level; we are both sexist towards girls...
So anyway...Its not going to change...this chick sucks, sorry dude, but its obvious...She has a whole slew of problems that are never going to straighten her out...but yet my bet is that the problems are not whats causing distance between you and her...its simply that she is a girl, and there are sometimes no causes for these types of things...
So, as Kramer put it so well, what you need is a pre-emptive break up...You know its inevitable that she is going to leave you again...so beat her to it...Tell her you found someone else...You don't need to be a cock about it...but in a nice way say "I am tired of your s***...I hope everything goes well with you and keep in touch or whatever"...thats it...its done...
Then immediately get your friends to take you out...Every good friend knows that it is a must after you kick a chick out...So they will buy you drinks and s***...A lot of people do not realize how well a couple of shots rid yourself of a chick's mind-****...That is what I recommend...You will feel great finally being relieved of the stress and drama...You may not feel that way now, but its because you are just sitting there waiting for her move...Beat her to it, and you win...
So anyway...Its not going to change...this chick sucks, sorry dude, but its obvious...She has a whole slew of problems that are never going to straighten her out...but yet my bet is that the problems are not whats causing distance between you and her...its simply that she is a girl, and there are sometimes no causes for these types of things...
So, as Kramer put it so well, what you need is a pre-emptive break up...You know its inevitable that she is going to leave you again...so beat her to it...Tell her you found someone else...You don't need to be a cock about it...but in a nice way say "I am tired of your s***...I hope everything goes well with you and keep in touch or whatever"...thats it...its done...
Then immediately get your friends to take you out...Every good friend knows that it is a must after you kick a chick out...So they will buy you drinks and s***...A lot of people do not realize how well a couple of shots rid yourself of a chick's mind-****...That is what I recommend...You will feel great finally being relieved of the stress and drama...You may not feel that way now, but its because you are just sitting there waiting for her move...Beat her to it, and you win...
Female standpoint:
This sort of s*** happened to me with my ex, to a degree. This is the same guy that "had problems" so i forgave him for breking my cheekbone. Son on with the life lesson:
You think you love her. You think that by being there for her, you will get points and in the long run she will see how much you care for her and that you were always there for her.
YOU ARE WRONG. If she keeps up and leaving you, it will continue to happen. The only thing you being there for her will do is DRAG this out and make you miserable for a few more years. It will never work.
TRUST ME!! go out and find a chick that dosn't give you panic attacks. Relationships are not supposed to be hard work. Yeah, there are rough spots..... but you have to be able to tell the difference between turbulance and going down in flames.
This sort of s*** happened to me with my ex, to a degree. This is the same guy that "had problems" so i forgave him for breking my cheekbone. Son on with the life lesson:
You think you love her. You think that by being there for her, you will get points and in the long run she will see how much you care for her and that you were always there for her.
YOU ARE WRONG. If she keeps up and leaving you, it will continue to happen. The only thing you being there for her will do is DRAG this out and make you miserable for a few more years. It will never work.
TRUST ME!! go out and find a chick that dosn't give you panic attacks. Relationships are not supposed to be hard work. Yeah, there are rough spots..... but you have to be able to tell the difference between turbulance and going down in flames.
- :
- mazda, protege ES
stop paying attention to her and she will either act different or leave you alone. The more you think about it the worst you are going to feel.. try to spend more time doing other stuff like working on your car or give your self projects around the house!! good luck
relationships are like engine problems if is not one thing is the other.
relationships are like engine problems if is not one thing is the other.
Previous lesson from me too.
I was probably 16. I dated this really nice guy. He did everything right, sweet as anything, was always there for me, did anything I asked, etc. I walked all over him and said I loved him one day, the next day I told him to leave me alone. We broke up and went back out once or twice. I left him for someone else that treated me like crap. And I didn't get out of THAT relationship til I had to get a restraining order against him. Now, all this time, alot of s*** was going on in my life. My parents got a divorce, I was depressed and felt suicidal, was starting to fail classes, etc. The other nice guy kept coming into my life and I told him the same thing that this girl is telling you now. It was nice to have someone there, but I knew deep down inside, I would never love him more than a good friend. It hurt him and I knew I was in the wrong, so I broke it off. He did not take it well and started drugs, almost flunked out of school, etc. I had to think past my own selfish needs and hurt him... again, but breaking it off for good.
The last time I talked to him was several years ago. He told me that I was his first true love and that I had hurt him. I told him that I knew that and I was sorry. I was young, confused and stupid. We never went back out or anything. He changed and was not really the same guy I knew previously. He turned into this big player and cared more about material wealth, loose women and status more than anything else. So sometime people change for the better, sometimes for the worse. But I'm pretty sure that the reason for him ending up the way he did had something to do with me. Which is unfortunete.
When I was younger, I was a b****, never got broken up with and always got what I wanted for the most part. But I was a teenager then and had no clue about what really mattered in life and didnt take other people's feelings into consideration. Your girl knows deep down inside that things will never progress with you. She's holding on to you here and there so that she wont be alone. Girls typically do not appreciate "the nice guys" til they are older. You need to back away from her, tell her you'll still be a friend, but not in the way she wants or needs you to be. You need to move on and find someone who is going to appreciate you and love you the way you need to be loved as well. Even if things improve with her later on down the road and you want to get back with her, I'd be against that. Once an ex, always an ex. If it doesnt work out the first time, then more than likely, this time wont work out either.
She has issues to resolve, not only with her life in general but also within herself. Never think that you can protect them from grief, or help them to "change". Live your own life how you need to live it. She obviously cares more about herself than about you or else she wouldn't be stringing you along. Look for the signs, ie "You know, you should probably find someone else that will make you happy". That's guilt talking. And when you DO find someone, dont fall for the "well, I didnt really think you would go out and FIND someone." Dont' be someone else's play thing. Get past the guilt, get past being someone else's pawn and find someone that WILL be there for you. It's fine to have hang ups, but not toy with someone else in the process.
I was probably 16. I dated this really nice guy. He did everything right, sweet as anything, was always there for me, did anything I asked, etc. I walked all over him and said I loved him one day, the next day I told him to leave me alone. We broke up and went back out once or twice. I left him for someone else that treated me like crap. And I didn't get out of THAT relationship til I had to get a restraining order against him. Now, all this time, alot of s*** was going on in my life. My parents got a divorce, I was depressed and felt suicidal, was starting to fail classes, etc. The other nice guy kept coming into my life and I told him the same thing that this girl is telling you now. It was nice to have someone there, but I knew deep down inside, I would never love him more than a good friend. It hurt him and I knew I was in the wrong, so I broke it off. He did not take it well and started drugs, almost flunked out of school, etc. I had to think past my own selfish needs and hurt him... again, but breaking it off for good.
The last time I talked to him was several years ago. He told me that I was his first true love and that I had hurt him. I told him that I knew that and I was sorry. I was young, confused and stupid. We never went back out or anything. He changed and was not really the same guy I knew previously. He turned into this big player and cared more about material wealth, loose women and status more than anything else. So sometime people change for the better, sometimes for the worse. But I'm pretty sure that the reason for him ending up the way he did had something to do with me. Which is unfortunete.
When I was younger, I was a b****, never got broken up with and always got what I wanted for the most part. But I was a teenager then and had no clue about what really mattered in life and didnt take other people's feelings into consideration. Your girl knows deep down inside that things will never progress with you. She's holding on to you here and there so that she wont be alone. Girls typically do not appreciate "the nice guys" til they are older. You need to back away from her, tell her you'll still be a friend, but not in the way she wants or needs you to be. You need to move on and find someone who is going to appreciate you and love you the way you need to be loved as well. Even if things improve with her later on down the road and you want to get back with her, I'd be against that. Once an ex, always an ex. If it doesnt work out the first time, then more than likely, this time wont work out either.
She has issues to resolve, not only with her life in general but also within herself. Never think that you can protect them from grief, or help them to "change". Live your own life how you need to live it. She obviously cares more about herself than about you or else she wouldn't be stringing you along. Look for the signs, ie "You know, you should probably find someone else that will make you happy". That's guilt talking. And when you DO find someone, dont fall for the "well, I didnt really think you would go out and FIND someone." Dont' be someone else's play thing. Get past the guilt, get past being someone else's pawn and find someone that WILL be there for you. It's fine to have hang ups, but not toy with someone else in the process.
i talked 2 her today and she said she basically loves me but right now she has 2 concentrate on her family issues and resolve those before anything else cuz its impt to her.. she also said she has to fully concentrate and put her full effort on these issues she is dealing with.. she said right now she just has to put our relationship on hold... she still wants me there for her though to talk and stuff.. she is tough and independant.. thats the way she always has been so i guess ill just go with the flow and see what happens...
ZeroAccess
Member
Well, I'm 21 and I'm with a girl I'm serious with and she comes with baggage and lord knows how many problems, I am all the time finding stuff I dislike about her (she's cluttery (is that a word) as hell, she has a 3 yr old (whose cool as hell), I mean there are ton of problems and tons of good things.
Here is what my advice to you is
Just relax and hang out with your friends or on the internet, don't text/call her for a day or so and see how she reacts I have a feeling she'll react with something along the line of "go find someone else" if thats the case then she obviously isn't the one for you (at least at this moment). If she ask you whats wrong because you haven't spoken to her explain to her that your busy with a ton of problems and you are just getting everything worked out (your not lying because your trying to get your emotional problems in check). Depending on how that goes you'll hopefully be able to realize what type of female she is and what her goals are in the relationship.
My g/f drives me freaking insane I can't stand it sometimes but I think about everything as a whole and its not anything I can't handle...sometimes ya just gotta put your foot down and be a man
Now here's a better question, why in the hell are us MEN typing about emotions n crap...
Look man if the sex is good and ya wrappin ur thing (she's prolly cheating on ya) then its all good...just have fun ridin her till ya fall off
Here is what my advice to you is
Just relax and hang out with your friends or on the internet, don't text/call her for a day or so and see how she reacts I have a feeling she'll react with something along the line of "go find someone else" if thats the case then she obviously isn't the one for you (at least at this moment). If she ask you whats wrong because you haven't spoken to her explain to her that your busy with a ton of problems and you are just getting everything worked out (your not lying because your trying to get your emotional problems in check). Depending on how that goes you'll hopefully be able to realize what type of female she is and what her goals are in the relationship.
My g/f drives me freaking insane I can't stand it sometimes but I think about everything as a whole and its not anything I can't handle...sometimes ya just gotta put your foot down and be a man
Now here's a better question, why in the hell are us MEN typing about emotions n crap...
Look man if the sex is good and ya wrappin ur thing (she's prolly cheating on ya) then its all good...just have fun ridin her till ya fall off
lol that was a good one.. she said " since i cant be here for u right now then maybe u should go find someone else who can be" becauise she was supposedly pissed that i reacted the way i did (pissed off) lol... i dunno i dont think im gonna call her for a lil bit , the only thing is if these problems are real deal and she needs someone and i dont call her cuz i gotta put my foot down im gonna feel like a dick.. and im sure shell be pissed but i guess i gotta do what i gotta do 2 find out what the deal really is..
It isnt a test, thats for SURE.
I told you, she is not 100% into you. She needs you there for her so she is not feeling "lonely" and has your shoulder to "cry on". Even with "family" problems, she should be able to function like any other normal human being. If she has problems dealing with the "every day" things in life, then she is NEVER going to be "ok". Some baggage is ok as long as you're not pushed aside. There is NO SUCH THING as "I love you, but I cant be with you right now because I'm having family problems." Thats a cop out for something else that she's not telling you. Even if you're a dick to her, she'll still want you. The worse you are to her, the more she'll probably want you around. Women are f**ked up like that sometimes. lol Thats why she went back with her ex. She put you aside and came crawling back when it didnt work out. She STILL has you on retainer. Break the chains that bind... so called "love" or not and move on. It's not worth your health. Look at how mental SHE is, she's just going to drive you under and bring you to the same level as her. Dont fall for the "I love you but cant be with you" thing. If she truly loved you, she'd be with you right now. Remember that saying "through thick and thin"? Heaven forbid you guys get married, the minute the preacher says "in sickness and in health" she's going to run for the chamber door. lol
Dont be a sucker. Use your brain for once instead of your heart. You are being used.
I told you, she is not 100% into you. She needs you there for her so she is not feeling "lonely" and has your shoulder to "cry on". Even with "family" problems, she should be able to function like any other normal human being. If she has problems dealing with the "every day" things in life, then she is NEVER going to be "ok". Some baggage is ok as long as you're not pushed aside. There is NO SUCH THING as "I love you, but I cant be with you right now because I'm having family problems." Thats a cop out for something else that she's not telling you. Even if you're a dick to her, she'll still want you. The worse you are to her, the more she'll probably want you around. Women are f**ked up like that sometimes. lol Thats why she went back with her ex. She put you aside and came crawling back when it didnt work out. She STILL has you on retainer. Break the chains that bind... so called "love" or not and move on. It's not worth your health. Look at how mental SHE is, she's just going to drive you under and bring you to the same level as her. Dont fall for the "I love you but cant be with you" thing. If she truly loved you, she'd be with you right now. Remember that saying "through thick and thin"? Heaven forbid you guys get married, the minute the preacher says "in sickness and in health" she's going to run for the chamber door. lol
Dont be a sucker. Use your brain for once instead of your heart. You are being used.
