Sometimes a good relationship is about striving for the same goal which should ultimately be putting your partner ahead of yourself and vice versa. If me getting a $200 mod for my car means things will be tight financially, then I won't get it. My wife would do the same. You always act in the best interest of the person you love. It doesn't matter if you make 100% of the income or 4%. The amount of money you bring in should not determine the power in a relationship IMHO.
It's not about being "controlled" it's about sacrifice and compromise. Just this evening my wife told me she was considering getting a second job because she knows that her working on her masters degree is putting a financial strain on us. She realizes that when she suffers, I suffer and vice versa. I respect her for that. I don't mind our income going towards her school books and fees because I know her getting a masters benefits us both eventually. She does not mind me spending $300 to upgrade my PC because she knows if I bring in $400 on a freelance design job, that cash helps us both.
I might say something is mine and she might say something is hers, but in the end, you gotta be in it together 100%. Fully committed. It's not to say that you lose your identity. My wife still supports and encourages all my nerdy habits (she wanted us to get rockband for a valentines day gift and comes out to Mazda meets with me). It's just that I put her needs first and she does the same for me. In the end, we both win.
Just my 2 cents. I will also venture to say "whacking the b**** with a shovel" is not a way to build a strong relationship.![]()
What a buzz kill man.... clearly i was kidding... and clearly i give horrible advice.
Honest truth.... I couldn't agree more with you. Ultimately it is about team work and sacrifice for each other. But a couple of these posts make it sound like the wives are putting down the car or the poster's enjoyment of it. Or there is the "honey can i get a...?" followed by the resounding "NO!". You should not put down the things your significant other enjoys. It is degrading. You don't have to understand it, but putting it down is not right. (unless they are into something like doing lines of coke off the kitchen counter)
When money is tight that is one thing, but if its your money, and the bills are all paid, family is warm, clothed and well fed, (all family goals are taken care of) there shouldn't an issue in my book.
When im with someone, I don't expect them to give up their passions for me, nor me them.
As for the people complaining about their girlfriends bitching about money.... I say watch out. Its only gonna worse if you marry her. My ex used to b**** me out for not having a job while I spent every damn day searching for one. Said she hated 'paying for everything'. This was coming from a girl who was 23 and worked at subway for $8.00/hr for LESS than 20 hours a week. Then I got my current job, where I make more in a week then she makes in a month and a half. The hypocrisy was fantastic.... relationship ended shortly after.