Can't get laid.

ok.. in the famous words of chris rock.. if she wont put out.. jerk off next to her.. then shoot it on her back.. tell her.. it coulda been in ya girl.. but u chose otherwise.. i tried this.. and got slapped.. maybe it will work better for u -=P
 
spicyzoomzoom said:
its the whole marriage thing i think. that ***** it up
Great! Now you tell me! I'm sure the anxiety/stress meds don't help either!
 
Atreyu said:
Azian - Sorry to hear your girls on paxil....well not sorry. It's good she's going to see someone and taking the medication. BUT..... be prepared for the side effects. I went through them with my girlfriend last year, she has mild Social Anxiety Disorder. Her moods were almost manic depressive for the first month. Then the medicine started to build up in her system and she was great. The sexual side effects did not go away however. She wanted sex but couldn't rrally enjoy it. it was like she got going and then leveled off, if that makes ANY sense. She was still great at pleasing me. but thats not cool when I see her struggling to enjoy things on her end. In the end Paxil had too many trade offs and she decided to stop taking it.
Sorry to threadjack Matthew.....you aren't posting so hopefully you are post hole digging.
Why do I feel like I wrote this?!?!?!? Same sutuation, without counseling. I mean, EXACT.
 
maybe women have a lot more going on inside them then men can ever know.

Man, maybe i should inform her of the paxil and side effects and how they dont go away.

-B
 
azian,
I'm glad you brought up anti-depressants...I was going to earlier but got tied up. In any case, any Psychotropic/mood altering drug can have an effect on the libido. I know...I dealt with it in my prior relationship. It sucks...and here's the bad part. Even if she wants it...it may affect her so much so, that she can't orgasm...no matter what you do.

Believe me...I got around it a couple times (only a couple in at least 10 attempts), but it takes a strong tongue and some proper g-spot stimulation. And then she couldn't even move to get me off...but at least she was happy, which in turn made me happy. But if she knows that the process will just frustrate her more, then she'll be disinclined to acquiesce to your proposal.
 
azian6er said:
maybe women have a lot more going on inside them then men can ever know.

Man, maybe i should inform her of the paxil and side effects and how they dont go away.

-B

I wouldn't, side effects are different for everyone. Don't tell her how the pills SHOULD make her feel. That might just make it worse. Besides her mental well being and happiness should come first, try it and see you know. If she is better with the pills the side effects may be negligble. And for the record, my girlfriend stopped the Paxil because of how it effected her eating habits more than the sexual stuff, we got around that relatively ok.
 
Makes me scarred to get married...

Sorry Matt, I really hope things get better for you.
 
Atreyu said:
I wouldn't, side effects are different for everyone. Don't tell her how the pills SHOULD make her feel. That might just make it worse. Besides her mental well being and happiness should come first, try it and see you know. If she is better with the pills the side effects may be negligble. And for the record, my girlfriend stopped the Paxil because of how it effected her eating habits more than the sexual stuff, we got around that relatively ok.

yeah my gf is having some side effects with the eating problems too. COuld it be related ??

-B
 
I would assume it is related, how long has she been on the Paxil? The first month to 6 weeks suck but after that lots of people report the side effects diminishing almost completley. My GF didn't lose her appetite it was more like her eating became eratic. couple that with the ol 23 year old slow down of metabolism and she gained about 15 pounds. Not that big a deal she didn't weigh but 120 or so to start off with but it bothered her
 
bummer matt have you tried to spice it up a little in the bedroom (some toy's ...etc)
 
mypfizzle said:
u guys tried watching porn together? -=P that can help.
Watching Porn with other guys???!!!! YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! (boom02) (headshake (omg)
 
Matthew said:
started before i even bought the car. thats how long this bulls*** has been going on. though for sure once i got back from the war, it would be gravy, but we had sex like once in the week after i got back from the war.
I heard on the radio that the average married man has sex about 62 times a year. Shocking when you first hear it because there are 365 days in the year so one would think the average man is starved for sex. BUT when you break it down in weeks: there are 52 weeks in the year so it sounds a bit more reasonable. It's comforting and then it's not. As a woman I'm satisfied w/once a week on average, doesn't mean that's always how it is though. s*** happens, work stress, financial stress, emotional stressors that make the sex drive take a back seat. Thing is that sex is a stress reliever and more people should take advantage of it but they don't. I'm sorry that this is happening w/you and your wife and I really hope it works out for the best.
 
im not married and i only have sex onces a week usally.....i only see my gf on weekends thou :(.....but i see her today (naughty) ......i would look at how u approach her when u wanna have sex.....i started gettin cocky and a girl gonna put u in ur place wit dat s*** lol....of course u can return the favor and stun her when she asks for it.....ohh now that s*** is funny!....good luck though...and i agree, cheatin aint the way out....i know u aint marry her for da ass only right :)
 
I've noticed when people are overworked or stressed/sad it kills the sex drive. It helps to be cool and comfortable. With girls, it helps to set the mood by taking them out, try a romantic movie (ick) or someplace new (not your everyday hang out). Best during midday, or when she's least likely to be tired. Guys are more visual, but you have to talk to your girls, tell them how sexy they are and what you would like to do to them. It helps to envision yourself in a movie, stop time for a second, stare into her eyes, and slowly move in for a slow kiss. Start to increase the passion of the kiss as long as she's being receptive. Then start the caressing. Don't start molesting her too soon though, because she won't want sex if she knows that's what you're heading for. No massaging ever, this relaxes the women to the point where love making seems like too much effort.

Sometimes you really do have to mentally prepare yourself for the long haul of 'no action'. Just convience yourself nothing is going to happen and be content with that. Try to cherish that you guys are good friends and don't even try to make any moves. See how long it takes before she starts knocking at your door. Depending upon your girl, it may even drive her wild to not give in to her advances. Sometimes this will make her take the conversation straight to your 'little buddy'.
 
It just sucks.

in my experiance, you can be in love with someone so much that you cant think about anything else. but when they are not into sex with you and say things like "what are you doing", it makes you ******* nuts.

I have been to the point where I litterally withdrew myself and thought about going on with my life alone.

some times the mental anguish is more than you can take. it sounds silly at first.

over something as silly as "sex". but to me, sex with someone you love is the ultimate connection, and when they continually turn you down, it makes you wonder if you are lacking in any way or if their feelings are changing.

girls do get comfortable, and take us for granted.

Matthew, I am no expert but you need to be straight up and tell her how you feel and ask if you can help her in any way. then let the pieces fall into the puzzle by themselves.

if it works out, good. if it doesnt, you gotta look out for yourself. its not healthy to beat yourself up over it mentally. everything else suffers. job, friends, family etc

I could understand if you looked like an ugly monster, but you dont (especially in that uniform LOL). she needs a reality check that you might not be there forever. its not healthy for you or her.

that is my two cents on the subject. I am in a personal battle some days. when its good, its good. but when its bad, I wanna give up and look out for myself.

thats my two cents if it helps at all.
 

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