Can't get laid.

girth said:
Something is definitely biologically wrong with her. The very large majority of women that age are insatiable (or at least it appears that way IMO). The desperation of most women is amazing to me, so I have to say something is wrong with her. I think she needs to see a sex counselor. Or tell her to try some female viagra stuff? I don't know - I can tell you that if you weren't hitched you could be getting laid damn near every night if you wanted it that often.
yea i know, and it depresses me. i take medication to combat the depression but then i stopped cause it wasnt working.
 
Matthew, on a serious note, its hard on military wives. Moving alot, long separations from the hubby ect ect. You know what Im talking about. All I gotta say is this, you DO need to talk to her about this. That intimacy is a large part of a relationship, especially a marrage.

You cant fight about it, or make it out to be the only thing you care about. You need to help her find what the root of this issue is, and help her work through it. If need be, goto the chaplain or through MWR to get to a post counseler. I know it worked for alot of guys I was buddies with that went through what you are.

I have never met your wife, but seeing the pics of you and her together after you got back from doing your duty, you 2 seem to in love, and I would hate to see you guys not try to work through this.
 
yea thanks for the advice craig. weve tried the counseler. didnt work. you guys can continue to discuss while i go to bed and dont get laid.
 
spicyzoomzoom said:
2 very important facts about relationships

1. if there is no sex, it wont work
2. if there is only sex, it wont work

ive learned both the hard way
3. Once a women feels confident that she has a man for good (marrage, long relationship) there sex drive almost always plumets.

I think its part of the animal instict thing. Women dont seem to want sex if they are not actively trying to compete with other women for a man. Or if they feel a man no longer has to compete for them.
 
Time for a hoe! But seriously make her want you- blow her off make fun of her- don't act like you want it- drive her nuts.
 
pdhaudio83 said:
post count cant be related to sex... at least for some of us
It is for me. (sad2)



But anyway, I have to tell you guys that this is probably THE MOST entertaining thread I've read on here. Good luck Matthew...I hope that things work out. I've always got your back soldier. (usa)
 
this is your wife. You love her. I doubt games to make her jealous and "want it" is the most mature thing to do. If you have issues talking with her about it then there is a problem beyond the bedroom--- communication.

Almost every couple has it. It is good that you have seen counselors for this type of thing, but if she honestly cant sit down and discuss it with you then there is a serious issue.

I personally dont feel it is right to play jealousy games with the woman you love, but if all you crave is a lay then go for it. I just think you will be left feeling more empty because the reason she gave it up was because you tricked her.

I saw you mentioned you took some anti depression meds. Does she by chance take any? My GF of three and a half years now is being treated for some anxiety and she takes Paxil. This drug has known sexual side effects and women are hit especially hard by it.

Does she take any form of medication that has sexual side effects? If so this might be your problem. God knows i have gone through it and it sucks, but i know my gf needs me.

I have heard that there is a new disorder popping up amoung many women about decreased sex drive and libido. There is a drug that is available now to compbat that. I dont think it is the female viagra, but it could be.

If you cant sit down and honestly speak with her, you need to confront her to see if she would be willing to see a counselor and help open up the channels of communication a bit. It is utterly phenomenal what communication can do.

I am glad you have chosen to stay true to your wife, and i am sure she does too. Messing up a 3 yr. marriage over one affair or one orgasm is not the smart, nor the mature thing to do.

I feel for ya man, but then again i can sympathize. I am not maried yet, but i am close and i can definately feel your pain. As hard as it is, try to be patient and your wife will come around.

Loving your wife isnt splitting off and banging some local chick, but sitting and waiting. Marriage obviously isnt easy, but its rewards i believe far surpass its losses.

Good luck man, but remember theres always jenna..... jameson that is.

-B
 
I gotta agree. But(you knew there was one), there is a thing called attraction, and it isn't always consistent. Without attraction there is no Mr. happy- sometimes you have to work for it- i.e. making her want you- If you think back about what worked before, use that. Didn't she just go through an operation though a month or so ago? Was it a problem before that or just after? There are a lot of things to think about with this, and there is probably no easy solution. azian is completely right on the communication angle, there are times that she can't or won't be able to explain why/what is going on with her- but an honest conversation is what could solve the problem the best.


azian6er said:
this is your wife. You love her. I doubt games to make her jealous and "want it" is the most mature thing to do. If you have issues talking with her about it then there is a problem beyond the bedroom--- communication.

Almost every couple has it. It is good that you have seen counselors for this type of thing, but if she honestly cant sit down and discuss it with you then there is a serious issue.

I personally dont feel it is right to play jealousy games with the woman you love, but if all you crave is a lay then go for it. I just think you will be left feeling more empty because the reason she gave it up was because you tricked her.

I saw you mentioned you took some anti depression meds. Does she by chance take any? My GF of three and a half years now is being treated for some anxiety and she takes Paxil. This drug has known sexual side effects and women are hit especially hard by it.

Does she take any form of medication that has sexual side effects? If so this might be your problem. God knows i have gone through it and it sucks, but i know my gf needs me.

I have heard that there is a new disorder popping up amoung many women about decreased sex drive and libido. There is a drug that is available now to compbat that. I dont think it is the female viagra, but it could be.

If you cant sit down and honestly speak with her, you need to confront her to see if she would be willing to see a counselor and help open up the channels of communication a bit. It is utterly phenomenal what communication can do.

I am glad you have chosen to stay true to your wife, and i am sure she does too. Messing up a 3 yr. marriage over one affair or one orgasm is not the smart, nor the mature thing to do.

I feel for ya man, but then again i can sympathize. I am not maried yet, but i am close and i can definately feel your pain. As hard as it is, try to be patient and your wife will come around.

Loving your wife isnt splitting off and banging some local chick, but sitting and waiting. Marriage obviously isnt easy, but its rewards i believe far surpass its losses.

Good luck man, but remember theres always jenna..... jameson that is.

-B
 
shinzen said:
I gotta agree. But(you knew there was one), there is a thing called attraction, and it isn't always consistent. Without attraction there is no Mr. happy- sometimes you have to work for it- i.e. making her want you- If you think back about what worked before, use that. Didn't she just go through an operation though a month or so ago? Was it a problem before that or just after? There are a lot of things to think about with this, and there is probably no easy solution. azian is completely right on the communication angle, there are times that she can't or won't be able to explain why/what is going on with her- but an honest conversation is what could solve the problem the best.

here here... well said.

there are still times where i have to try to be subtle and want my gf to want it, but i dont think this should be the beef of your efforts. No pun intended.

-B
 
this may sound hard on you but have you considered that your wife maybe getting the groceries from another place? just a thought.
 
tttP5 said:
this may sound hard on you but have you considered that your wife maybe getting the groceries from another place? just a thought.

i doubt this is the problem, but ill let the man answer. He was gone a way for a while, but i highly doubt it. At least i hope for his sake.

-B
 
well if nothing else cheers you up then this should get a good laugh from everybody. (Bomb will drop in 5...4...3...2...) It's been 2 years for me. I was involved with a girl that I have dated off and on since I was 14. I mean she was my first in more ways than one. Never believed in love at first sight but then I met her. Well I go off to college and we don't date for a while and 2 kids come into the mix. Well since I was still in love with her the kids weren't a big deal so we started dating again. Well we started getting serious again and I actually asked her to marry me. Well she said NO. Many reasons but basically just wasn't the right time. We had sex a week before I asked her and I haven't had sex since. We are still great friends and I see her all the time. Actually just went out of town with her and the kids for the weekend. So I know where you are coming from. And all I have to say is un-returned affection is like a cut from a dull knife. She hasn't had sex either but I am just not sure where this whole thing is going. The whole NO thing really messed me up for relationships. I have dated a feew times since but haven't gotten any play. And much like you I was getting it anytime I wanted through high school and college. What the hell is wrong with this picture... oh well enough of my problems... just know there are others out there like you and others that are worse off.
 
Azian - Sorry to hear your girls on paxil....well not sorry. It's good she's going to see someone and taking the medication. BUT..... be prepared for the side effects. I went through them with my girlfriend last year, she has mild Social Anxiety Disorder. Her moods were almost manic depressive for the first month. Then the medicine started to build up in her system and she was great. The sexual side effects did not go away however. She wanted sex but couldn't rrally enjoy it. it was like she got going and then leveled off, if that makes ANY sense. She was still great at pleasing me. but thats not cool when I see her struggling to enjoy things on her end. I ended up going to some of her sessions with her and that made her more comfortable about it and did help alot. In the end Paxil had too many trade offs and she decided to stop taking it. She goes to more counseling now instead and has learned to deal with it better that way.

Sorry to threadjack Matthew.....you aren't posting so hopefully you are post hole digging.
 

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